A big blog of nothing,
For once I would like someone to come up to me and ask me How I"m doing...... I think this is the biggest thing I wish for.
A big blog of nothing
the big thing is ... Is that I feel like nothing and it's a horrible feeling, I hope I've never made anyone feel this way.
A month ago my BFF was killed and she will not be in this life anymore, her daughter will grow up with out a mother and father, Because her father killed my best friend. I feel selfish for being sad , I feel bad for being mad that my "friends' here don't ask if I"m ok. But really it does it matter if I'm okay right? Because there's a 7 year old with out a mother
My one "friend" needs help paying fines or he's going to jail. I've been to jail and It's not a cool place. I told him I would help him. I can't pay my rent,,but since I told him I would help him, he's talked to me every day.and he acts so interested in what I have to say. I use to talk to my bff every day. I miss her and I'm so lonely
My other "friend" use to tell me his life story, use to love how easy I was to talk to, use to search out my conversations. Now he forgets to return my texts, emails, phone calls, and acts like he does it know me. Actually he's said that, "you and I don't know each other" I asked him if something happen if I said something wrong and he tells me he's just busy. He forgets when I invite him to do things to let me know if he's going.
My other "friend" who I use to talk to all the time as well and said I was a cool ass chick, just stopped as well as returning emails ect.... When asked ... because I'm honest... I was told that my grammar and spelling is really hard to understand what I'm trying to get across. When we do talk every know and then it's about what he's going threw, and if I mention something about me or whatever, it gets completely ignored. Hence the big nothing blog.
I just want to be myself again because of all this I get really insecure when it comes to them.
I just want to stop feeling this way, I want to be that cool ass chick that everyone else thinks I am and I know I am but I can't stop this yuck insecurity that I have . I just want some one I can talk to....
Pathetic huh ?
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
big nothing
Posted by Heather at 12:09 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
6 comments:
You are what you are. Nothing more nothing less. I have given up on people and getting close with anyone. My BFF died of an OD, 2 woman I ever loved cheated on me. I am numb and alone. Nobody can hurt me anymore.
I am very sorry about your friend. That must be hard.
It's times like these when we know who are true friends are.
Hang in there.
one of the guys,
Hey thanks, it's been sometime, I need to stop by and see what you've been up too. Hope all is well
Anonymous,
I wish you didn't feel that way , I'm so sorry for all of your lost.
Hey Heather,
Just stopping by to say hi. Hope you've been well.
Yes, please stop by and visit more often! :) We miss you!
Take care.
ps. Our first podcast will be up sometime today.
I know how you feel, Heather. Nothing tragic has happened to my best friend, but I did lose her. She's on the other side of the freakin' planet, and with both of our schedules, we rarely talk on the phone. My other friends have also moved away due to their jobs, and everyone else where I'm at are just people caught up in their own worlds.
You're not pathetic. Everyone, including me needs someone to talk to.
Post a Comment